Although I don’t feel singleness is a ‘gift,’ I do know it is a choice that some of us have made. And I am going to share with you my journey to this decision in my life. In order to do so, I must go back into what I had thought was ancient history – at least my ancient history – and long ago forgotten. So let’s take the trip back.
This tale goes back to the early 1980’s, when I was a very rebellious young adult. I was running away from everything that had been taught was right and good – I was running away from GOD! I chose a pathway of destruction. It was a path that led through alcoholism, various drugs – both legal and illegal, and sexual promiscuity. If it ‘felt good’ I did it. And I thought nothing of the consequences. I saw no consequences, so there were none!
But now, as I am looking forward to my 50th birthday this spring, I know there were – there ARE – consequences for all of these choices that we make; some are good, but many, dare I say most, are not!
The consequences of my substance abuse is that I have a liver that has poor functioning if I do not eat the right foods to keep it clean and keep my body as chemicals as possible. This is a tough new pathway I must follow to keep healthy, but I have chosen to walk it so that I can share the lessons I have learned with you.
But the consequence that has brought on my choice to serve God in a life of singleness has to do with news I just learned this week. I learned that because of one of my sexual indiscretions I have a virus that will stay with me the rest of my life and is very contagious. While it is not HIV/AIDS it is still something that weakens the immunity and causes lesions in the very most private parts of a person’s body and is sexually transmitted to others – even if you have no outward signs or symptoms.
I have learned many times over that even one sin can cause an aftereffect that will last a lifetime; and here is that lesson once again.
One encounter with a man to whom I was not married has cause an illness that will be in my body for the rest of my life. And if I were to again marry, could cause that illness to be passed to someone I love very much.
So I took this news into my prayer closet to seek God’s face. There I laid down my desire to have a husband again. I choose, with the strength of Jesus, not to seek a husband to share the rest of my life with; but too build my relationship with the Husband of all widows and the Father of all orphans – Jesus. He reminds us of this in the following passages:
Now there cried a certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets unto Elisha, saying, Thy servant my husband is dead; and thou knowest that thy servant did fear the LORD: and the creditor is come to take unto him my two sons to be bondmen. And Elisha said unto her, what shall I do for thee? Tell me, what hast thou in the house? And she said, Thine handmaid hath not any thing in the house, save a pot of oil. Then he said, Go, borrow thee vessels abroad of all thy neighbors, even empty vessels; borrow not a few. I Kings 4:1-3
Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: extol him that rideth upon the heavens by his name JAH, and rejoice before him. A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation. God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land. Psalms 68:4-6
For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. Isaiah 54:5
But God is full of Grace! And He spoke these very words to my heart: Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
II Corinthians 12:8-10
And again: For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us …
Ephesians 2:14
Then He started singing in my ears the chorus I will quote here: Peace give I to thee, Peace give I to thee. Not as the world gives, give I to thee, Peace give I to thee!
You see God is the HUSBAND to the WIDOW, literally and figuratively. He is my Husband. He is my Light and my Salvation. And MOST importantly, HE IS MY PEACE!
Thank you Jesus!
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