Are You Single After Losing Your Mate?

I can’t say that I can that I can relate to you; I have never been where you are. So I won’t try to sell you any platitudes. But our God can relate to all of us, no matter what season of life we may be in. God can use you to do many things that we who have not been married to the love of our lives yet are not prepared to do. I am reminded of the prophetess Anna who met Jesus when Joseph and Mary took Him into the temple for His very first time, to present Him to the Lord. She makes her appearance in Luke 2:36-38 NIV; ‘There was also a prophet, Anna, the daughter of Penuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying. Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.’ Anna went from being a daughter in her father’s home to being a wife, then a widow after only seven years in the home of her husband. But she loved the Lord, so she went to live in the temple and serve God for the rest of her life. The Bible doesn’t mention that she had children, but as she made a home for herself in the temple, I think that we can say that her marriage didn’t produce children before her husband died.


I do know one woman of God who has in recent years become a widow; her name is Nancy, she is my mom. Mom and dad were married in 1957 and spent the next 51+ years together. Their marriage was a partnership was one of three parts; God, mom and dad. Together hey raised five children in the best way they knew how. There were bumps along the way, but we mostly turned out OK. Now that dad has passed into eternity, mom is learning her new position, both in her life and in her relationship with Jesus. But she is not alone; she has the support of her biological family and her church family. Two of my brothers have moved into her home to help her with the upkeep and expenses. My oldest brother has also taken on the job of what he lovingly calls ‘the granny nanny.’ He stays with our grandmother while mom works.

Mom is an RN. She works in a rehab hospital caring for people who are unable to care for themselves, either short term or long term. Being a nurse was something she always wanted to do. But because she married dad right after graduating from high school, she put off her dream of being a nurse until after she had finished raising us. Then she went back to school and graduated from WNCC in 1992 with an AA degree and her RN nursing certificate – she only had to pass the state boards to be a licensed nurse.


Although she came into her career later in life, God knew that it was her calling from the very beginning. And He prepared her for it all along the way. Now in her new found singleness she is still using her hands to work His gifts of healing in the lives of her patients. God gave her her calling when she was a young girl living at home with her mother. But her not fulfilling this calling until later in life was all a part of His plan for her life. He knew that my dad would leave her while she was still young at heart and not ready to retire yet. She is still working full time and caring for others as she has done for her children until we were grown and gone, and like she did for daddy until he no longer needed her to any more. I know that she will continue to minister for Jesus in her work place until He gives her a new direction for her life.


Now she hasn’t always been happy in her life of singleness since my father passed away. In fact she went through a time of grief and depression. She had to go through the whole process of letting go of the pain of losing the love of her life. But she did so by seeking the guidance of our pastors and reading God’s word. For it is God alone who gives her, and any of us, the strength that needed to get up every day and encourages her all along the way.


Philippians 1:21-26 NIV says, ‘for to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.’


I feel that mom has taken this passage written by the apostle Paul to heart. As long as she lives, she will serve Jesus in the callings He has given her in her work place, in her home and in her church. If you find yourself without your mate, you can hold onto this passage, too. I am sure that she will always have days when she misses my dad, but she still has Jesus as her Heavenly Husband to take care of her. He does a better job than she could ever do on her own or even if she had a new husband to fill the void left by my dad’s passing. And she does put her trust in Jesus to take care of her now and forever.


Make Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV your new guide for life; ‘Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.’ And believe that Jesus cares for you and knows what is best for you no matter where you are in your life’s timeline!