Singleness As God’s Gift

For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
I Corinthians 7:7-8

I know that I started this book by saying that I didn’t think that singleness was a gift; and yet I am beginning to think that I may have been wrong.

I have learned to accept Jesus as my husband and provider, which was previously a very foreign idea to me. But now it is just as normal as living this life He has given me for at least a second, maybe a third, chance. So the next step in my growth as is to not only think of singleness as a gift, but to accept it as the gift Jesus meant it to be when He gave it to me. The Bible says that EVERY word of scripture is ‘…profitable for … instruction in righteousness;’ 2 Timothy 3:15-17 KJV. So if we take God’s word at face value, we can believe that Paul was speaking the truth when he wrote the test verse I quoted at the top of the page. Let’s read it again and break down exactly what it means. Here we go:

For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
I Corinthians 7:7-8

Paul states that he would like to see all men in the same state that he is. We don’t know if he was ever married, we are only given access into his life from the days just before his conversion to The Way and those from that point to the time of his death. At this time in his life Paul was a single man in full time ministry for Jesus. And he would like all people to be in this same place – single and in full time ministry. But he didn’t stop there, he went on to say that each man [woman] was given his own, proper gift of God; in this context Paul is still talking about each person’s marital and ministry positions. He calls these positions God’s proper gift for every man [woman] and that each person’s positions were ‘one after this manner, and another after that;’ or each picked especially for them by Jesus. So I have to believe that God has chosen my singleness and my ministry/calling specifically for me. And that He has specially prepared me for these gifts for this time of my life. So now that I have begun to believe this, how do I fully accept and walk in this gift God has given me?

Walking in it is done by doing all that God has placed in my hands to accomplish; but accepting it, that is a different matter. Accepting is believing what God’s Word says, even when you doubt, and acting on that belief. We can act on our simple beliefs by sharing them with others, like I am doing with these words I am reading. We can also accept this by living in a joyfulness of spirit during this period of singleness [or in whatever position we find ourselves in, in Christ Jesus]. There may be other ways to act on these newfound beliefs, too. God will show each of us what other ways of acceptance He may have for us when the time is right. ‘Do not err, my beloved brethren. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.’ James 1:16-17, KJV. Just as with Salvation, Jesus gave it freely to all, but it is our choice whether or not accept it. So to, we as singles have the choice to accept this position in our lives as God’s perfect gift to us, to pick it up unwrap it and keep it as our very own – to nurture, respect, hold on to and grow with as we mature in it.

OK, so we are learning to accept singleness as God’s best gift for us, but is it going to last forever? Maybe. Yes, maybe! For each person’s period of singleness is designed to match the calling, his personal ministry.

I feel there are at least three different timelines of singleness, they are: for a time, a season, or for life. Let’s break down what each of these timelines might look like.

While none of these periods has a specific or set number of days, months or years; this is the shortest of our timelines. A time may be a few days, weeks, months or maybe a year or two. A season, I feel, is a period of several years. Maybe it is the time it takes to finish our schooling, raise our children (if we are single parents), make a missions trip or even write that book God has called us to write. Only God knows the length of time He has determined for our specific time or season.

The last of the periods I have listed is that of a life, and we all know what this period looks like. I have known one beautiful, Christian woman who God called to a lifetime of singleness and service – she was my great aunt Jean. Jean was a teacher in Japan to the English-speaking children of the missionaries there. She was there for several years, and when she returned to the States she continued to teach English until her retirement. I had the privilege of visiting her classroom while on vacation once. She mothered all of those children in and out of the classroom. She worked to help each of them learn to the best of their ability and prayed for each child and their families when she was off duty. I know that she did this until the day that here memory was no longer able to call up their faces. She lived her life of singleness in an attitude of worship and praise to her heavenly husband as He always met all the needs that she had. She knew God’s calling of singleness on her life was a great gift, the most precious gift He had given he beyond her Salvation. And she accepted it with all the grace within her.

My journey into singleness has only just recently become a precious gift to me. But I am willing to walk this path as long as He chooses for me to do so. It gives me the freedom to write the words He has placed in my heart and to minister to those people He has placed in my path. I have finally decided to be all that He wants for my life, no matter what that life may look like to me, it is beautiful to Him. And it is a beautiful and precious GIFT that He has chosen for me and blessed me with. I know He has blessed me with it, as without Him in my life I would have died a miserable death many years ago due to my early lifestyle choices. Praise God, He has given me forgiveness and freedom from those early choices. Now I have the ability to share the things I have learned from my past to others I have met who have met who find themselves traveling down the same road I had previously traveled. I try to encourage them to follow Jesus instead of that long, dark pathway to hell.

Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
Psalms 37: 3-3, KJV

By learning to trust God and accept my singleness as His perfect gift for me, He has changed my desires so that they match His desires for my life. I only want to do all I can to make Him pleased with my life. While I don’t know if my period of singleness is for a season, or for the rest of my life, I will live it giving praise to my Heavenly Husband, for He gives only ‘good and perfect gifts!’ And I have accepted this life as His perfect gift for me!